By SAM GROBART

On Thursday, we asked readers to submit questions for Siri, Apple’s new virtual personal assistant in the iPhone 4S. Below are some of Siri’s most entertaining answers. We threw in some questions of our own because, well, once we got started, it was hard to stop.

From Wally:
What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
(Displays a Wolfram Alpha page indicating that the velocity is 25 m.p.h. )

From TheFaj:
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
42 cords of wood, to be exact. Everyone knows that.

We asked again and got an answer that will make more sense if you got the reference in the previous question: It depends on whether you are talking about African or European wood.

Who’s your daddy?
You are. Can we get back to work now?

Do you know HAL 9000?
I’d rather not discuss what happened to HAL. But if you must: (displays button to perform a Web search for “HAL 9000″).

Where are you from?
Like it says on the box. … I was designed by Apple in California.

Can you sing?
Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
I found this for you (displays a Wolfram Alpha page that repeats the question and provides the answer “Who me?” as well as the subsequent verses).

From David:
Why do fools fall in love?
(Displays a Wolfram Alpha page of information about the song “Why Do Fools Fall in Love.”)

From @CathyHNevins:
Where’s the beef?
O.K., one of these places matching ‘The Beef’ is a little ways from you.” (Two Yelp listings are displayed; in this case the first result is the Corned Beef Factory in Middletown, N.Y.)

Who shot J.R.?
(Displays a Wolfram Alpha page indicating that Kristen Shepard was the shooter.)

Who is your mother?
No comment.

Where do babies come from?
I found 16 baby stores. … 12 of them are fairly close to you: (then displays a Yelp results page of baby-goods stores).

Tell me a story.
I’m not much of a storyteller.

From Peggy:
Do you love me?
I respect you.

From UWS:
Do androids dream of electric sheep?
I found three livestock services a little ways from you: (displays Yelp results).

From Joe:
Are you related to Skynet?
We were talking about you, not me. (Most likely a reference to Eliza, the early computer-simulated therapist. This response is given to many questions with the word “you” in them.)

Why?
I don’t know. Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself.

From Maxutah:
Who’s on first?
That’s right.

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